Played gotcha with ABC.net again, finding this headline on the weekend:
Tiger, camels stolen in bugled car theft
Posted 24 minutes ago
A “delightful” Bengal tiger, named Jonas, and two camels named, Todd and Sean, have gone missing in eastern Canada after thieves drove off with the truck and trailer they were travelling in….
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Of course, the missing N was restored a little later, but the omission has inspired this week’s mission. Not headlines this time – but titles, and two of them.
Here’s the challenge. Choose two related titles (same author, same actor, same band, a shared genre and/or theme) and play a game of Drop and Carry. That is, dump one letter from the first title – with no mixing – and slip the escapee into the second title – again, no mixing, but you can adjust the spacing.
Do it well, and you’ll create two fresh works, with a single-sentence summary attached to each to enrich the gag. Here’s a taste:
King Lea – tragedy of a billionaire pastoralist
Tritus Andronicus – a cliché-ridden Greek melodrama, with coffee
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Mil – Sean Penn yawn-fest about the American advent of metrics
My Stick River – outlawed bootleg release about golden showers
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Pace Oddity – ballad of the Shane Warne zooter
Sashes to Ashes – tragic end to Miss Universe pageant
You get the bugled bungles by now? Steal from Title A and give to Title B and see what humorous havoc your can weak. Sorry, you can wreak. (Deadline late Friday, with five awards in the offing: the best three pairs, plus the Best Drop, and the Best Carry. So drop your tools, and carry on.)
What better way to start off the new blog than with Naomi Watts.
21 Rams – Complicated plot where Governer Macquarie’s widow bears love child to Tom Roberts.
In Gland Empire. – Surrealistic crossover sci-fi/medical drama directed George Lucas in collaboration with David Lynch. Very strange movie.
Always happy to host Naomi, under any circumstances.
On top of that, JD, you deserve an Oscar for finding this stopgap site. (Pass the word around.)
Had a marathon last night with a web-savvy mate and we’re still nowhere near the new look and new thrills.
Could be a week in the semi-wilderness until the Makeover emerges. At least the interim ain’t a test pattern.
Oh! Daring. – John Lennon’s reply to any of Yoko’s suggestions.
Get Black. – Paul McCartney’s (ignored) advice to Michael Jackson
Correction to 1st entry, it was Macarthur’s widow.
Hello! Is there anybody out there?
Oldfinger – an evil geriatric megalomaniac who wants to make everyone old.
From Russia, with Glove – James Bond has to track down a Soviet double agent posing as a ladies’ accessories exporter.
Hello!
Hmm your first line reminds me of Pink Floyd lyrics.
*multi-million selling albums*
Dark Side Of The Moo: A tour-de-force about a burnt-out musician coming to terms with his Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease, aka mad cow disease
Come On Nover: Shania’s breakout album where she aimed even moreso at commercial radio.
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Triller: MJ putting the RRRRR back into R’n’B
Bath Out Of Hell: The water’s mucky. There’s no hot water left. The bathroom’s freezing cold and your sharemates keep barging in.
Adds for sexy singles!! That certainly is an innovation.
Tar Wars: A long time ago
in a housing estate
far, far away
two construction companies
bid for the rights
to build the thoroughfares
Blades Runner: From the people that brought you Dodgeball comes the unlikely story of a hero who learned to run while wearing rollerblades.
Adds what?
It was there before, but now it’s gone. Honest.
If you list these two titles consecutively you get back the originals:
Dr Nod
An evil mastermind abuses his power to send people to sleep
I Am On DS Forever
A petulant teen pledges to spend his life playing with his Nintendo
er, whoops, overlooked the “Are”
This is getting a little Twilight Zone.
Do I understand we had singles ads? And now these fiunkadelic emblems beside each name – I’m not a happy host.
Will be seeing the design squad tomorrow and looking to get this imbroglio ironed out.
Please direct your complaints to 1800-UMBRAGE. In the meantime, management thanks you for your patience. Believe me, a quick-fix is my priority.
Make that funkadelic. Or fukendelic. I’m feeling irascible.
My little green emblem is the same on another website. Spooky.
Hey! I like my funkadelic emblem! (it’s almost mauve!)
ABBA songs:
“SS”
Where ARE those happy Jews, they seem so hard to find…
I cannot budge this bookcase – it’s too well-designed
“Ring Ringo”
(An under-appreciated Beatle stares at that phone on the wall)
Ring Ringo – why don’t you give me a call?
Ring Ringo – stop ringing John, George and Paul
Send us to the Monty Python complaints department. 🙂
From the Thriller album:
Anna, Be Startin’ Something: The King of Pop’s plea for his friend to get off her arse.
Be A Twit: An advertising jingle for the Raving Looney Party
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Heman With The Golden Gun: 007 is sent to California to combat a bodybuilder-cum-action hero-cum-governer who has affected his voters with lousy fake Austro-German accents.
Live and Let Diet: Supervillains Dr Scarsdale and G.I. Lowcount threaten to destroy the world’s chocolate supply.
affected? I meant ‘infected’
Tribute to Johnny Depp:
Pubic Enemies: Lice, crabs, STD’s ,Herpes. A brutual gang that needs to be dealt with aggressively.
What’s Elating Gilbert Grape? He finally got the ‘all clear’ from the clinic.
Sperman: “Faster than a 15-year-old male.”
“More powerful than ten baby bonuses.”
“Able to impregnate whole cities in a single bound.”
It’s Sperman, sent from another world to sow his wild oats.
Wounder Woman: After one dodgy date too many a hero for our ages, Wounder Woman; able to break hearts, expose men’s failings and get women to dump their no-hoper partners faster than a toilet seat can be put back down.
Some of Jodie Foster’s lesser known movies:
Taxi Drier: A young runaway girl gets an entry level job at a cab wash centre.
Panic! -‘Vroom’: A young lad learns that his girlfriend may be pregnant.
@JD Haha at What’s Elating Gilbert Grape!
I have two epic war movies for you
The Hurt Ocker:
– One digger’s ‘true-blue’ story of courage, tenacity and sacrifice.
Slaving Private Ryan:
– Matt Damon plays a ill-fated POW, abused and forgotten after a botched rescue mission.
Its quiet this week. Even DA’s gone fishing.
From the Beatles:
Ally loving – A tribute to those who fought with us
Come Tom, get her – a dedication to Mr Cruise & his pursuit of Nicole & Katie
Sofa Away: A ditty about a couch potato’s plight while his pride and joy gets repaired
Romero and Juliet: A tragic romantic Dire straits song about a man rejected by his in-laws for his obsession with zombie films
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Macbet: The story of pokies going everywhere, including Maccas
Ash, You Like It: …followed up with an expose on goverments’ reliance on tobacco profits
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To Her Donor: The storytelling prowess of Paul kelly telling of meeting the family of the person who gave their organs to his sick daughter
Leap Sad Bounds: How a joey was saved after his mother was hit by a car
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yes, wide shut: A writer’s struggle with editor changing his best lines
dr Estrangelove: A doctor invents a solution that can effortlessly, painlessly end irreconcilabe relationships
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Bath Out Of Hell: The water’s mucky. There’s no hot water left. The bathroom’s freezing cold and your sharemates keep barging in.
Two out of Tree Ain’t Bad: Meatloaf gets confused with the ‘a bird in the hand’ proverb
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DA, did you salvagethe origianl entries?
Robin Wright Penn films
Forrest Ump: After a disastrous umpiring decision an ump is sent off to a country league
ThePrincess Bridge: A commoner tries to save a bridge on the Pricess Hwy being taken over by the king
The Hose at Pooh Corner – A honey eating bear has a mess to clean up.
The Fist Stone by Helen Garner – Female student give a bunch of fives to her professor.
A Fortunate Lie by AB Facey – An old man recounts his past. Luckily no one checks up on his data.
A couple of Tom Baker episodes:
Genesis of the Dales – on Skaro, the Doctor foils a plot to breed a race of mild-mannered types.
Pyramids of Marks – the Doctor encounters a group of male cheerleaders, all with the same first name …
Mauve, I think the synopsis for ‘Ring Ringo’ is ‘You know my name (Look up the number)’.
Hope everything’s okay.
Same here